The Farmer's Wife: Love is 'being there for each other'


Before the church service started this morning, our pastor asked for a show of hands for Chiefs fans, Eagle fans,  and fans whose teams did not make it! AND, we had brass accompaniment for the hymns today; while walking out, we heard the NFL theme song!! Who says Lutheran church services are dull?

It's Sunday, the 12th, and by the time you read this, Valentine's day will have come and gone. I have to admit, in our house, it was never a very big deal. In fact, as I was reading some of these from  yesteryear, I wrote I had found one I had given Mike in his trash can. I rescued it and gave it to him again!  He never noticed the duplicity.  

But at Book Club on Friday, we were discussing our book choice, Love in the Time of Cholera. I admitted I did not get it read, and I was not the only one! Plus, several read parts. The hero of the story was super promiscuous while professing his love for one woman. 

We all were turned off by this guy, no matter if he was a metaphor, a horrible example, or just a figure of the author's vivid imagination. And then, one neighbor made a statement regarding love, and it has stuck with me all weekend.

She's a relatively new member, and I don't know much about her history, even though we have discovered we are distantly related (not uncommon in Nebraska, and she is even from York.)

But she mentioned her mother was ill for a time before her death, and that her parents were married 64 years by then. Her father had said he loved her then, more and more each day.  I actually had tears.

You know from listening to my hospice stories I've seen examples of this “agape” love over and over. I       told her it made me think of Golde in Fiddler on the Roof, who answers Tevye when he asks her if she loves him. He has just given their second daughter his blessing for a marriage not arranged by the matchmaker. A quick internet search reports there are still many arranged marriages in the world today.

Anyway, Golde sings, “For 25 years, I've washed his clothes, cooked his meals, cleaned the house, milked the cow, given him children; lived with him, fought with him, even starved with him.” And she asks, “ If that's not love, what is?” But Tevye still asks, “Do you love me?” His parents told him they would learn to love each other. And they both admitted to being nervous and shy. And to bring the song to a close, they admit their love for each other, while singing “it doesn't change a thing, but it's awfully nice to know!”

Romantic love is nice, and I hope you got flowers and chocolate on Tuesday. But where the rubber meets the road, it's all about “being there” for each other. And speaking of rubber on the road, I could not believe how many flat tires I had back in the days when this column was new! Thank goodness for better tires; I haven't had one for years, knock on wood. Just watch, I will probably have to eat those words.  

And now, at 9:30 pm, all the Chiefs fans can breathe again!! What a great game!!